bag tag

So i was  tagged awhile ago by Ashi and Amira, like awhillllleeeee ago. But being me i put it off. Sorry girls! :[ So I decided to snap a couple pictures and post on it. This is actually the first time I've been tagged.

So first up is one of my favorite purses from my collection.

Now here is pretty much what I keep in my purses. I put things into them as pick out a purse. I don't usually leave stuff in it.

So here is my lip glosses, sunglasses, ipod, chapstick, and I take pictures with my phone, so I just got a picture of my phone from the internet.

Now Most of you guys are already tagged, but anyonw whose reading this should do it and send me a link when you do!

LALALALA ( I know I've posted something with this title, but let's just say You should read this with a tune in your head)

So what's been up my fellow bloggers? I should really be trying to improve my spelling and grammar. Maybe then my english grade would rise from a B+ to an A-. ( GOD I WAS SO CLOSE!) But if I was improving my grades I wouldnt be sitting in front of the computer posting. I would be doing my Algebra 2 homework. URGGGGG but all thats been happening in school has been as brit bloggers like to say " bloody exams" I like that phrase, so I hope you don't mind me stealing it. I haven't had a severe headache in over a week noe, so I've been feeling much better. My mom tried to return that skirt I got for my birthday, even though the receipt says no refunds or exchanges over 7 days. My sister and I tell my mom this, but she's like " No, no it's okay, they make excpetions.
My sister is like " But Mom, it's writeen in INK"
..... She goes anyways, they didn' except it.

Well that's pretty much it for now. so chow, adios, au revuo ( or however you spell it)

Another post omg!

I'm in the mood for blogging lol. So just wanted to ask you girls what youwear at home or what you wear when you don't have to wear hijab.

For me my parents make me cover up around the house too . I'm never allowed to wear shorts or tank tops at home. I can wear tshirts. But my legs have to be fully covered.  I wish my parents let me wear what ever at home, because I like I've said a billion times it gets HOT! If it was up to me tanks and shorts all day!. I dont like to dress up at home, but I wish I had more freedom.

Whats this two posts in a row?

Im usually very lazu about posting. AlabasterMuslim asked for an update on my health. I cant't really give you one till i get the results in 3 weeks. My birthday was great I kicked my sisters out of my room and watched Harry Potter and the Half blood Prince and Leap Day on the internet. My family doesnt waste money on going to the movies, wea watch them on tv or the internet. I've doing these state tests taht every 2nd to 1th grader has to take in the state of California. Ayyy they are a pain! One week of them done, another to go. Muahaha ive found a way to hijabify a miniskrt. ( everybody applaud) So what you do. but remeber this is because I wear jeans. Not gonna work if you are a skrt hijabi, and well if you wear abaya i guess your kinda covered. So what you do is start off with a tank top and pull on a high wiasted sjirt to just below your "chest". dfont call the haram police yet. Put jeans on under the skirt and thorw on a jacket/cardigam whatever you like. then button the middle so you you have some space showing the shirt. It'll look just like a dress or long tunic. I'll make an outfit on my fashion blog about this so you get a biteer idea.

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

so today I've finally turned 15, even though i've been refering to myself as 15 for awhile now :]

Awsome day at school today, lottsa a presents. My sister made me a cake. One of my friends gave me a mini skirt today though!?
Anyone know how to hijabify one. I mean in a way I could wear it outside not just at home.
Things got kinda awkward at school with this one guy though.
Ahhh I love my friends , they never fail to embarrass me during my birthdays. At 1st period they shouted "hey its her birthday!" so they whole class sang to me. And later another group of friends blast out happy birthday at the top of their lungs in an extremely high pitch voice.
This was a pretty good birthday, and a very crazy year.
All the best to you all!

A night spent at the Hospital

I know a lot of my posts are about me being sick. And I'm sorry if this is getting boring for you guys so I'll do my best to talk about some other stuff. So last night I had to have my sleep apnea test done. Sleep apnea pretty much means you have difficulty breathing during your sleep. So my doctors and my parents want to make sure I dont have it because it could be causing my headaches. So I went to downtown L.A.( its like 30 minutes from my house) because my hospital doesnt have have that lab. So there were about 6 other patients who were waiting to do that test too. There was like a tech for each of us. And so after my tech calls me in I get changed into my P.J.s and stuff. And then she hooks all these wires onto me and attach me to a machine. It literally took an hour to prep me for the thing. And then i go to bed. It was about 10 p.m. I usually to sleep around 11 which was kinda a problem for since I don't fall asleep easily. They have a camera and an intercom in the room so they can hear and see eveything so they can monitor me and speak to me if i need anything. And my dad who had to come with me because minors can't be by themselves, so he had to sleep in a chair. And in the middle of the night I  guess he was having a nightmare because he kept screaming. That was pretty bad for me because No is suppoed to interfere with my sleep and he woke me up. So the techs and nurses had to come check in on him to make sure he was okay, becuase well i coudn't move since I was attached to the machine.

And then I was awake again. My tech came in to reconnect a wire taht had unplugged and last night I had trouble breathing so my throat was extremely dry. I really hope that they can take my tonsils pout, because I don't know if you can actaully feel your tonsils but mine hurt. So after I got my water and went to the bathroom ( they had to unplug me for that) i tried going back to sleep. I actually managed to get a lot of sleep last night. We were signed out 5 A.M.

So thats pretty much experience.
Hijab is going good for me. I have to take it off at P.E. though i can't handle it without getting a headache. :(
But minus the total of that 45 minutes since im taken up hijab I've kept it up.

I wore hijab today

So i had been thinking about it lately and i decided I'd give hijab another try. So i wore it to school today. This is is prertty much what i wore: a purple short sleeve tunic style top, a tank top, a new jacket my mom bought that is a zebra stripe pattern ( and i dont mean just detail, i mean the whole jacket was in zebra print), black jeans, and my knock off ugg boots, a puprle scarf with a back undercap , and a seond white lace undercap. I managed to incorporate my style into jiab. The only problem is that it was sooooooooo hot today! i was dying in all those layers. does anyone have any advice for me on what to wear to high school thats till fashionable and hijabi but not as hot. And i dont wear maxi skrts and abays.

So heres what I thought of it. Im not going to lie, I'm a teenager and most 15 year old american girls arent that pios. I thought that it was unbearably hot but i manged it to wear it through out the day. But ii dont feel like it made me "safer" and " less looked at". I sometimes used to feel that when wearing hijab. But yea guys still talked to me and stuff. But i don't mind. I dont want people to change the way they think of me because I wear hijab. But i do want them to respect me for it because It does take courage to wear and i want my friends to support me. I dont get that as much as I'd like. Which bums me out. Hijab gave me some benifits though today, it kind of protects you against the sun, at first when other bloggers said that I thought it was no offense, crap. But it actually does. But i did feel rediculously hot in what i wore today, bad planning in my part.

What happened during spring break.

So I had a goal to post everyday during Spring break. But days passed and I had got really busy and had tons of fun. So I decided to post now while I should be doing homework :]

Friday night- won the iTouch
Saturday- chill day, a day to de-stress
Sunday- Cousins from London came over, tons of hugging. EARTHQUAKE!
Monday- spending time with the cousins
Tuesday- we all go over to a family friends house have fun there, eat a lot! spend the night over
Wedensday- wake up have fun eat. At night we go to a party at one of my uncle's rich doctor colleauges house.
Thursday- went out to eat
Friday- old people come -.- another party
Saturday- Masjid ( mosque)
Sunday- last moments with my cousins another party and shopping

Parties are what Bengalis do :]

Ok so one thing that bugs me even though its a stupid and pretty mean thing and everyone has their own opninions on things are the way some people view Islam. There are people who shoudn't call themselves Muslims because they don't practice it and then there are people who annoy me with how religious they are. It seems like they are showing off. They seem like the Haram police to me. And Im trying not to bash anyone here....but well what else can I say. I'm not the most perfect Muslim and I'll proudly say so. There are haram things I do and I wish I didnt do it but well my life is a work in progress.

Like for example, hijab. I dont wear hijab. I dress modestly enough but Its not always hijab worthy. I dont wear hijab because one I' m still not healthy enough to cover my ears and front part of the troat part for long periods of time. So I wear it Like Indian/ pakistani duppatta style. This is what is best for me at the moment. The second thing is that I'm not ready emotionally ready yet. I am past the age of puberty and I am not innocent. But still I dont feel emotionally ready yet. I can't really explain it by typing it.

And I talk and I'm friends with guys. I know thats haram. But I do it. I try to avoid it if I can. My intentions are never to physically do any thing with them. And I know a lot of you guys are like well still you do it. I know but I'm working on it. See another thing is that if I wore hijab and I  still talked to guys , what would be the point of it!

So you get what I'm going at. Its ironic though because my parents are really religious, they built a Masjid Alhmadulliah. I've been put in Islamic schools since I was 4. but these things happened.

Going to talk abourt what is bothering me today

So I decided to rant a little bit. And i guess my blog is a perfect place to do this. One day while having one of my headaches, my mom asked me what kid of possible stress I could be having , if my life is so good. FRirst of all, even though she is my mother, she does not know me. I refuse to think she even understands me, so even though she is my mother and I love her, we are a part of her life where we decided to understand that we do not understand each other. Part of this is language barrier. I can speak Benagli adn she can speak English but we don not have a wide enough vocabulary of these languages to fully understand the meaning of what we are saying. Like for example i told my mother,  I always trying to be good and perfect.... She interrupts saing but a you are good daughter and we are proud of you. Well that wasn't what I was trying to get at all. I wanted her to understand the tension and pressure I get of always trying to be so. I just want to break out, make my own choices in life, dom't give a s*** about what everyone else thinks. If my choice turn out tot make my life a living hell , that would be a million times better than living with someone elses descions.

Another thing that bugs me is that i son't actually love love my parents. I mean I do in a sence that I would save thier life over a strangers if they were falling off a cliff. In that sence. But my relationship with my parents is based on fear. A symbol of them in my head are two big scary monsters who will kill me if I don't do what they tell me to do. Don't get me wrong. I get away with doing stuff. and I appreaciate them my parents for taking care of me. They do this more than most parents, treating us like princesses. But don't you think its sick to think of your parents as monsters.
In addtion, I don't always agree with their lifestyle choices. Their manners, etiquetts, and morals don't match mine. For example a big fight I had with my parents a few weeks ago was because When i was getting rice on my plate it was clumped and I refused to break it. They said before i got the vegetables I had to break the rice first, and If I ate this way all the bengali adults would laugh at me. First of all i don't give a s*** about what others think, and I cthink  my parents are.. how do I put this cowards? for caring about what other people think. And I could always break the ruce after I got the vegatables.


In sad truth, I am much happier when Im not home around my family.

Migranes, blackout, and iPod

So on Wednesday around 6 pm i was watching tv and all of a sudden the tv turns off and all the electricity does too. So family is like ohmigosh! Well it turns out some stupid kid flew his stupid kite into a main electricity cable and blacked out the whole area. Boy, I'd hate to be that kid's parents! Well we did homework by candle ight which looked pretty cool so I took a picture

But we had like no hot water! Because in my house all the hot water is controlled by electricity so no "uses up all the hot water".

So during Magrib ( sunset) prayer i was making sujood( prostration) and suddenly I got a huge shar pain in my head. I silenntly moaned about it for the rest of the prayer and went upstairs to ask my sister to compress a cool, wet cloth against my head. The doctor told me these headaches are just extreme migranes. I don't know what's been causing them, but I think it might be stress. I start to scream a bit and my mom asked from dowstarirs what was wtong. And for a reason that would take a whole another lonnnnnngggg post to explain I said that a tripped. Well, the pain got worse so I did have to call her up and whse had to hold me like a baby because i started to scream and cry. I'm gonna take a class to learn how to controll  these migranes.

But anyways the next day at school, the migrane returned. I had my mom bring me a ain killer after third period but the pain gort worse. Everyone wanted to help but they didn't know what to do. Only one friend managed to not get too scared and help me out with some ice. I lost my jacket that day too. I cam home took a nap and felt better.

Alhamdullilah the headache has not returned yet. And now Im on Spring break!!!!!!!!!! lost night night on Friday i went to the masjid for Youth group and i won first place out of the whole class so I got as iPod touch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol. and I'm also super excited because in 28 hours my cousins from London will be here!

and I have like absolutley no homework over spring break, because I'm taking like all honors pre-AP classes. ( well actually im in a program called IB which is like AP but harder, for those of you who don't know AP means advanced placement)

So today I'm gonna get my glasses too! and now i shuld go eat breakfast even though its like !0:30 am right now