Monday, December 14, 2009

Mixed blessings

yes, i know my background is quite emo. contradictory to what this makes of fisrt impressions of me, im not always all moody and dark. usually im quite giddy and a bit ditzy, this just sort of suits my mood for today.

as for ranting, i am depressed about a schoool musical. i auditioned and didn't make it. but that is not exactly makes me sad avout it, it is just that i gave up so much and had my heart set on it, as well as convincing terrified friends to stick with their auditions, cheering them on and encouraging them. i was too confident of myself, that is where my fault was. so where are they now? they have parts and i don't. KARMA.

i had a panik attack on friday. i am not yet emotionallyv ready to take in bad news and bad events so i let anxiety and anger rule me. but a friend of mine stayed with me calming me down cleaning me up from mascara tears.

but friday wasn't all bad, i had fun as well. but that what happened is vey vey personal for me to just yet share on this blog.


AlabasterMuslim said...

ahh that sucks. Your scared-to-death friends tried out and made it...and you didn't. awww *ehugs* Inshallah you will next time. there will be at least one more, right? From what i've seen there is at least two or three plays a year...Do you think they wouldn't let you be in the play this time because you were in it last time? Even if that is the case, its still not fair.
Here, take this *handsyouatissue* blow your nose and wipe those black tears away, inshallah its all for the best!

myownpersonalrehab said...

no i didn't actually do the last play because of its contents whicj i later found out but i was in the crew, they actually prefer you have some experience by doing another school play. well i actually have six more plays til graduation. haha