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Monday, September 6, 2010

Oh God, Please Help

I seem to blog more whenever things are going wrong instead of right. So here is today's bad situation. give advice if you can help me, this is really personal and I really enjoy the anonomity.

So my 6 year litle sister went into a room without saying salam and my dad gets furious. he threatens to beat her so my little sister rushes to my middle sisters room to hide, my middle sister tells me quick hide your stuff, turn off the computer and hide! I do that and hide in her room but I forget to turn off the lights do I go back to my room but he's  already upstairs. so I try to talk him down and telling him there are other ways of teaching other than hitting so he gets his metal pole, i scream and run into my room. for normal people this would be the end of it but after being emo its hard not fall for the tendencies, i had these sick twisted desires to staple my hand and pierce my skin with binder pins, it took all I had not to. i can't live like this anymore, i', always seconds away calling the police but then we wud be in financial ruin.....

8 comments:

Amira said...

Sis I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I know my words probably dont mean much to you but its still Ramadan try to do as much dua as you can for the betterment of your situation. You know the time right before iftar? around then is a good time for dua's because the angels say ameen so try to do dua then. Inshallah things will get better. I know you dont need me to tell you self harm wont help you so no lecture here.If you need anyone to talk to you know how to reach me inshallah. Hope things get better for you hun. Ma'asalama

American Niqabi said...

If your family is being abusive, call the police!!!! and make lots of dua!

Amira said...

I don't quite remember where you live but personally I know where I live if your father were reported your mother would also be arrested for failure to protect and if you have no one willing to take you (sometimes even then they don't give family custody) they would put you in the system which is not where you want to be. So I just wanted to add if your father is being abusive is there anyone who can step in maybe talk with him?

myownpersonalrehab said...

@ Amira is not exactly as abusive I have to remember the way my father was raised. If he was completely and utterly a terrible man then I would have called the police 90% of the time he's an awsome man he just gets really out of control temper. Should we do something about it? Yes but we don't because there is nothing we can do or want to. I want to wait until I'm an adult because remember I have those little sisters. My dads brother said slowly but surely he will try to talk to him. I just miss my uncle a lot because he's in England

Ashi said...

Sis I hope your Uncle speaks to him soon. Until then as Amira has said, make plenty dua and have faith that things will be ok. As you said your dad is mostly, surely you know this can be solved. I can't offer much more as it most probably means little but know that I'm also here for you. *hugs* x

Ashi said...

*mostly awesome

AlabasterMuslim said...

Salaamu Alaikum sis,
I just have to let you know that even though your father might have been raised in a certain way, it does not make his actions any less abusive. But don't think I'm putting your father down, because like you said its only when his temper goes out of control. Make a lot of dua, and calling the police on him (if he ever does beat you with the iron rod or w/e it was) is definitely not the worst thing that can happen. Those things can screw you up emotionally...Which could be one of the reasons you were having the old feelings of wanting to self-mutilate. Pray a lot because that is from shaitaan, and try to remember that in Islam you are not allowed to hurt yourself- maybe that could help :(. I feel really bad for you and your sister because I know you two are so sweet and kind and I know your little sister could only be the same way. May allah swt protect your family, ameen.

A.B said...

it doesnt matter how he was raised.....My father never in his life ever raised his voice at me. he's always told me that the Prophet Muhammad SAW loved his daughters. and anger is never a good thing. it's sad to think grown ups today dont even realize this. i will keep you in my prayers and make dua that things get better, salaam.